Impostor Syndrome: The Truth Behind Why You're Feeling This Way

Uncategorized Aug 11, 2020

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When I first started my online business I struggled with feeling like an imposter. 

 

You know those feelings of…

 

Who am I to be doing this
What if they see me as a fraud
I feel like I need more training to be seen as an expert

 

Do you relate?

 

Even with my degrees and years of experience in the offline world I still felt like a fraud. Like I needed to accomplish more before I could take my business online.

 

The fear of being found out or called out scared the shit out of me. So much so, that I sat on the sidelines waiting for these feelings to go away.

 

Well, here’s the thing with ‘imposter syndrome’ or ‘fraud syndrome’, the majority of people experience this at some point in their career.

 

So if you're in the season of feeling like a fraud or an impostor know that you aren’t alone. 

 

I always say sitting in that doubt is a beautiful place to sit for a while. But don’t hang out there too long.

 

Sounds twisted I know. 

 

But it’s the truth! When we sit with our fear, we can learn from it. It’s when we run away, push it away or hide from it that keeps us stuck longer. And repeating the same patterns over and over again.

 

So when we dig a little deeper into why these feelings come up, they tend to lead us back to the following:

 

1. Our Need for Perfection

Impostor syndrome and perfectionism go hand in hand. We want to make things perfect so that people don’t notice and point out our flaws. Because our flaws indicate we don’t know what we are doing, right?

 

Wrong!!!

 

Perfection is an illusion. Look closely at everyone and every business. At some point mistakes are made. 

 

The wrong emails were sent.
The wrong picture was used. 
There was a typo.

 

God forbid the typo…

 

Shit happens my friend, so it’s time to ditch the need for perfectionism, because you are striving for something that isn’t possible. 

 

And this need for perfectionism is keeping you stuck on the sidelines. If you resonate with this messy, imperfect action is what you need to take. 

 

Because as Michael Hyatt says, “Perfectionism is the mother of procrastination.”

 

 

2. Not Able to Ask for Help

Do you believe that if you ask for help, or if you seek help people won’t see you as an expert in your field? Or they may see you as weak?

 

I know this was a big one for me. I’d try to figure everything out on my own because if I asked for help it showed my weaknesses. Plus experts are the ones helping others. They shouldn’t need help themselves.

 

Yikes...

 

That is what I used to believe. The thing is everyone seeks help at some point in their career and/or life. I firmly believe it takes strength to ask for help not a sign of weakness. Plus, no one gets to the top of their mountain without support in some way.

 

Even your biggest influencers have mentors and coaches. And if I am being honest I’d rather work with someone who is also working at bettering themselves. There is nothing worse than coaches or mentors who paint a picture of having it all together 100% of the time.

 

My audience often asks me, “Kathryn, how can I be more real and authentic in how I show up for my people?” 

 

The answer is show them all sides of you. Show them you are an imperfect being doing your best. And that you rely on support like they do to build your business.

 

 

3. Using Work As Measurement of Worth

Those that experience the feeling of being an impostor often push themselves to work harder and produce more in order to measure up with those around them.

 

But this is merely a cover-up for your insecurities. And you run the risk of overworking and burning out. 

 

Here’s the thing with being of value to others, your worth isn’t measured by what you do. You are inherently worthy of everything you desire the minute you were born. 

 

I wrote a whole blog on “enoughness” and the truth behind why you never feel like you are enough. At the root it’s the lack of self-love we have for ourselves, and the belief that our worth is attached to something outside of ourselves.

 

So, if you’re in the season of feeling like an imposter or fraud I’d love for you to tune into why these feelings are coming up for you.

 

Maybe it’s your need for perfection or feeling like you have to overwork yourself to demonstrate your worth. Either way, at the root of each of those is insecurities you carry. Insecurities that won’t go away by running away, pushing them down, or pretending they don’t exist.

 

Sit with them, and learn from them so you can release them. If you want to dive a bit deeper, reach out. I'd love to connect with you.

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